LAST week we toured Mutare as part of a team working on a document on the history of the church in Zimbabwe and little did we realize we would bump into some deplorable practices being done in the name of religion yet strangely everyone seems to be turning a blind eye. In recent times we have seen and heard of child rights groups all over the country campaigning for and advocating child rights, particularly the rights of the girl child.

But after a face to face encounter with some unimaginable practices in the apostolic sects-infested province, one could only wonder whether child rights groups have really been sincere in their cause or whether the government is serious about bringing an end to the rampant practice of marrying off girls as young as thirteen to, for example, a 55-year old grey bearded man. We came head-on with the ugly practice and spoke with the parties concerned and my honest feeling is that if ever the word ‘urgent’ applied to anything, it cannot relate more than it applies to the situation in the Marange area.

Many still have vivid memories of the case of Madzibaba Ishmael Mufani whose church members beat up police officers at a shrine in Budiriro following an effort to try and stop abuses within the sect. Members in Madzibaba Mufani’s sect were, among other things, required to destroy their education certificates. Some were required to divorce their wives for a plethora of reasons. The incident which became known as the Budiriro-debacle between the police and Vapostori is one in recent efforts to control religious abuse though some have interpreted it politically.

However, what is happening in Mutare, particularly in the Marange area makes the practices by Madzibaba Mufani and his jailed comrades look like child-play. In fact, when many people left the place, there was a general feeling that Madzibaba Mufani could possibly have been victimised for things other than the practices at his sect. The abuse in Marange is intense.

There was, in one homestead, a 57-year old free-spirited old man with a long grey beard who ‘proudly’ paraded his four wives and it was the last two wives whose appearance caught everyone’s attention. Looking closely at the third wife of the old man one would observe that her chest was flat; there was barely anything budding. Her face was a true picture of a supposed innocent girl who should be mastering the mathematics times-table somewhere in primary school. Even, as one woman perceived, there was scarcely any physical feature on the little girl that would be of pleasure to a man of a sound mind.

The sight of the fourth wife was like a knife to my heart. Surely, the girl should certainly be within parents’ care being taught how to wash her own clothes. Again, this was just another innocent young girl whose chest was flat and would easily pass for a grade 5 pupil. It was eye-opening and surely the government is sleeping at the wheel; it would be wrong to be economic with the truth in such a matter.

It really befuddles the mind how such practices continue unrestrained in a modern century like this one. One, like I mentioned, also wonders at the sincerity of child protection groups. One would be at fault to come across what is happening in these apostolic sects and yet remain quite. There comes a time when abnormal things begin to look normal, not because the things have become normal but because of prevalence.

The marrying off of twelve year olds in the apostolic sect is rampant as we would learn. It is common to see a 61 year old man married to his first wife, perhaps 57 years old, and a string of teenage wives. It is common knowledge that there is no real consent in these arrangements. What is worse, the parents of these children seem to be at ease with it.

The horror of the whole scenario, as some in the community recount is that, under the sect practices, it is the duty of the wife to ensure that the husband has had a good meal. The young girls are expected to scrounge for food to ensure the husband is treated to sumptuous meals, a practice which was cited as fuelling prostitution. They have no means yet they have to sustain a 58-year old able-bodied man. The practices are really sickening.

It is indeed incumbent upon the government and other voices of goodwill to take this fight further with the sects abusing girl children; I have always put myself up for attack by pointing out that religion should not be used as a means to abuse the vulnerable. These practices are archaic and cannot be allowed to continue unbridled. Action is required

Remember this is the Last Hour.

Pastor Emmanuel Makandiwa (photo:M. Chibaya).

United Family International Church (Ufic) founder Emmanuel Makandiwa is set to open a new branch in South Africa as Zimbabwe’s charismatic preachers spread their wings beyond the country’s borders.

Ufic spokesperson Prime Kufa said Makandiwa will be in South Africa next week to officially launch his first branch.

“We already have five branches in that country but we are only going to officially launch the first one in Sandton next week from October 23-25,” Kufa said.

Makandiwa is following in the footsteps of another local self-proclaimed prophet Walter Magaya of the Prophetic Healing and Deliverance ministries who has in the past month been to neighbouring Botswana and South Africa for crusades.

Asked if they were following Magaya, Kufa said they already had branches in other parts of the region.

“We already have branches in Botswana, Zambia and Windhoek in Namibia. Two or three weeks after the South Africa event, we will likely be launching the Lusaka [Zambia] branch,” he said.

Kufa dismissed criticism of his church and other Pentecostal movements that they were out to fleece ordinary people of their hard-earned cash.

“I am not sure where people get those kind of things. The God we serve makes sure his gospel expands and we are just following his call,” he said.

“In this part of the world, we did not know of Christianity until the original churches that we all know came. It has nothing to do with money.”

From humble beginnings, Makandiwa and Magaya have turned into flamboyant personalities with business interests straddling different sectors of the economy.

There is a story doing rounds on mobile phones believed to have been published in a Zambian newspaper titled “Some Lusaka prophet sells anointed underwear”.

The prophet is said to be targeting women with marital problems, telling them they are possessed by “spiritual” husbands. But these can be repelled by wearing these anointed underwear, which are selling at K100 (approximately $10) a pair.

A pair of underwear usually costs between $1 and $2. The prophet is said to have cashed in on many women in Lusaka, who later learnt that the individual was a dubious character that was not reachable on the phone.

The story also quotes a minister of religion, who complained that some prophet in Lusaka was also selling anointed straw brooms for K20 ($2), which followers are instructed to use to sweep out problems from their homes. These brooms are not to be shared with neighbours like what normally happens, particularly in high-density areas.

“We can use the broom to sweep in the mealie meal bin, the fridge, on the bed or anywhere you want blessings to come,” an unidentified woman was quoted saying in the article.

The concept has also resulted in congregants of this church selling bottles of anointing water, light bulbs and oil at inflated figures.

According to the Zambian story, “The water turns out to be ordinary mineral water, which costs K3, but shoots to between K20 and K30. Anointing oil then fetches K30 to K40 for a 100ml-bottle containing cooking oil”.

The newspaper notes that a 2-litre container of cooking oil that cost K32, would make more than K800 when repackaged as “anointing oil”.

A light bulb that normally costs K60 is sold for $60 as an anointed item that will illuminate evil in the home or building where it is lit. And when one attends some of these church services they will find that the message being projected all the time is that of prosperity.

Does this story sound familiar?

There is a mushrooming business at some Pentecostal churches in Zimbabwe, which are selling all sorts of items claiming that they are anointed.

The anointed items include caps, handkerchiefs, bracelets, oil or water, stickers and even clothing material and many other things.

I have no doubt that there are some fly-by-night Pentecostal churches taking advantage of people, especially women, for personal gain.

These people are taking advantage of religious freedom, which Zimbabwe has accorded its citizens, but I believe investigations into these unscrupulous activities must be stepped up.

For example, how do you explain the sale of anointing water, which is obviously ordinary water, at a cost ranging between $5 and $10?

Rarely do you hear these preachers talk about salvation or assistance of people in need. Yet these churches have become a platform for some individuals who want to amass wealth as fast as they can.

But we do have God-fearing men in our midst. I was told recently about a popular prophet in Harare who refused to accept a car that had been donated to him by a congregant and instead asked one of his pastors to investigate the donor and find out how his parents were surviving at their rural home.

The pastors returned and told the prophet that the man’s parents were living in abject poverty and hardly had any decent food to eat.

The prophet decided to sell the car, build a home for the elderly couple within a month and then asked the young man that had donated the car to accompany him to his village so he meets his parents as a gesture to thank him for the wonderful car gift.

He was a bit hesitant, but he had no choice, but accompany this prophet.

When they got to the village, the young man was shocked to find a new look homestead, now even had a borehole for his parents to draw water.

“When they got to the homestead, the prophet told the elderly couple that their son had built them the house and fitted solar panels for lighting the rooms and also gave them the cash.

“The elderly couple were visibly shocked because their son had long abandoned them and yet he was showering this prophet with all sorts of gifts. I wish all pastors and prophets could do the same,” a congregant from this local Pentecostal church said.

Gone are the years when church was refuge for the poor. A scan around Harare city centre shows that old traditional churches are heavily involved in projects or ministries that benefit ordinary people.

I have no doubt that Pentecostal churches too have assisted many people in dealing with evil spirits, miracle healing and so on, but a lot more has to be done to assist the poor by providing food, hospital fees, school fees and other necessities and not always squeeze money from congregants for their glorification or reverence.

Is it fair for the congregation to raise school fees for a pastor’s child to attend for instance a school which asks for $5 000 a term, when there are widows in that congregation failing to pay just $100 school fees a term for their children?

Why not spread resources equally among congregants and the community they are operating in?

There are prophets or pastors who have never visited homes of their poor congregants, but only focus on those that have means to generate cash for their personal use. Where is the love that they often preach about not being practiced?

I was so deeply humbled to learn about what the St Vincent de Paul Society that falls under the Catholic Church is doing for poor people in Harare and yet one hardly gets to know about their activities because they do not want any publicity.

In South Africa, reports say church leaders have vowed to clampdown on pastors cashing in on people’s desperation by feeding them petrol, snakes and human hair in the name of Jesus.

Malusi Mpumlwana of the South African Council of Churches (SACC) recently said his organisation had received numerous calls from exasperated people wanting intervention into the “unconventional practices”.

“It is not just unethical. There are people who are trying to make money off the desperation of people. That is exactly why you need some sort of mechanism for serving a standard on how churches are run,” Mpumlwana said.

Lesego Daniel of Rabboni Centre Ministries and his protégé Penuel Mnguni of End Times Disciples Ministries were recently filmed forcing devotees to drink petrol, eat grass, snakes and rats “in the name of salvation in Christ”.

Why are local church bodies not taking action on some of our local Pentecostal churches that are equally practicing “unbiblical” teachings?

This is just horrendous and unacceptable.

FUGITIVE Good News Church leader Prophet Uebert Angel is unlikely to return to Zimbabwe anytime soon as he is facing imminent arrest over a botched car deal, and this was evident after he failed to visit the country in his “African Tour”.

Prophet Angel, who recently announced that he was rebranding his church from Spirit Embassy to the Good News Church, visited Southern African countries such as South Africa, Botswana, Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) and Zambia in a whirlwind of crusades but suspiciously skipped Zimbabwe, his home country.

He is believed to be currently based in the United States of America and the United Kingdom.
This has raised questions on whether Prophet Angel will ever return to lead the flock that made him millions of dollars.

The flamboyant prophet was popular for driving top-of-the-range vehicles, including a Lamborghini and Bentley Continental, among others.

At some point, he was quoted as saying he was worth US$60 million.

However, it is the US$300 000 Bentley Continental that landed him in trouble after a Harare magistrate, Mr Tendai Mahwe issued a warrant of arrest on December 24, 2014 when he did not appear in court to respond to allegations of lying to businessman Mr Ndabazinengi Shava that he would “harvest” several vehicles and money if he “seeded” his Bentley Continental to the preacher.

Part of the warrant reads: “These are (police) therefore in the State’s name to command you that immediately upon sight apprehend and bring the said person or cause him to be apprehended and brought before the court of a magistrate to be examined and to answer to the said information and to be further dealt with according to law.”

The warrant, therefore, seems to be the major stumbling block for Prophet Angel’s return to the country. And in his lengthy absence, his flock has jumped ship and joined other churches.

The Good News Church, which at some point boasted of church premises and offices in Graniteside, Harare, is now holding its services at the Harare Agricultural Showgrounds where a handful of people are seen in attendance.

Questions abound on whether these charismatic church leaders will die with their churches given that their churches crumble in their absence.

The Sunday Mail Religion understands that even pastors who used to travel with Prophet Angel have also left the church to go back to their ‘original churches’. Pastor Itai Munyeza for example, has since gone back to Faith Ministries.

One of the former pastors who spoke on condition of anonymity said, “I think a lot of people are seeing the light now. About 80 percent of his (Prophet Angel) main pastors in Harare have left, mostly the ones he was walking and travelling with. They all left but no one is really speaking out.

“(Prophet) Angel came and said God sent him to Africa and said go make my people rich and he came and made himself rich. He came in a Merc (R Class Mercedes Benz) which he bought in the UK on account and went back in a Bentley,” the former pastor fumed.

After spending 12 years overseas, Prophet Angel returned to Zimbabwe in March 2011, and his congregation grew rapidly as multitudes embraced his charismatic style and “miracles”.
He dramatically left the country in May 2014, amid speculation that he was either a fugitive, bankrupt or sick. It later emerged that he had fraud allegations that haunted him out of the country.

Efforts to get a comment from Prophet Angel have been fruitless as his UK number is not reachable but in a Tweet believed to be from his official Twitter account last week, he confirmed the change of the church name and his ‘African Tour’.

He tweeted: “Can’t wait to go back home after my African Tour.

I miss The Good News Church in UK & I miss my favourite @Prbeverlyangel

“Spirit Embassy remains the name of the organisation that manages the church but The Good News Church is the new church name.”

One of his local church leaders, Pastor Felix Angel refused to comment before asking The Sunday Mail Religion to drop the story.

“Don’t worry about asking us questions, just leave out the story,” he said.

I write to express concern on the issue of religious denominations in residential areas who have no respect of the residents in the particular area they have built churches.

If a church has a public address system it should adjust its volume so that only the congregants can hear, not to force all people in that neighbourhood to listen to them.

They should know that there is freedom of choice, not to force their way into people’s homes.

On many occasions I have approached an Apostolic church in Msasa Park to lower their volume, but to no avail. They can choose to have choir practice all afternoon on Saturdays, mid week services and youngsters come in at any hour to play the drums, making unbearable noise.

Imagine we have children studying, elderly people, sick people and even just longing for a quiet time, but they don’t care. You cannot even listen to your radio let alone television.

I think there should be a law in place to protect us from such pastors/churches, who are not neighbourly.

We are fed up.

I greet you all in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

I won’t take time to divulge into the moral frailty our country is facing as this will just be a painful reminder to the erosion of the well cultured young Zimbabweans that we have always been known for.

However, I will just do an indication to highlight my petition to you all.

Our young sisters and brothers are being exposed to a bankrupted way of life. Every day there is word in the streets, in the neighbourhood on how the youngsters have gone wild. It is quite disheartening and it pains as this might be passed on to our children. In as much as parents try to bring up kids in a cultured way they are exposed. They meet in schools and we don’t want to imagine how they lure each other into illicit behaviour during lunch, break and/or on their way from school. The exposure is there regardless of how parents can be strict. We can blame it all on the media, television which does not discriminate its censorship as the onus has been directly left on the parents. My petition to the Catholic Church Zimbabwe is BRING BACK THE SCOUTS INTENSIVELY IN SCHOOLS AS IN THE 90s’.

In the 1990s when I was in primary school we had the girl guides, brownies and the boy scouts in school. I enrolled for brownies in grade 2 and that’s when I learnt to be truthful, obedient and cheerful. Thinking of others before oneself. Having been learning at St Pauls Primary School in Gweru, these were the best days of my life. Going for brownies meeting at tender age and being taught the essence of life…

Should these children be brownies at a tender age, we might be able to channel their way of thinking for now and for the future for better.

Thank you,

A BINGA pastor has been sentenced to 18 years in jail for sodomising a 15-year-old boy from his Brethren in Christ Church.

John Mwembe, 45, who is based in Binga pleaded guilty to two counts of aggravated indecent assault when he appeared before Hwange regional magistrate Dambudzo Malunga on Tuesday.

He will serve 15 years of the sentence after the magistrate suspended three years on conditions.

Asked why he committed the crime, Mwembe, who has a pending case at Binga Civil court for bedding his brother’s wife, said he was tempted by the devil.

“I was overpowered by the devil. He noticed that I had been away from my wife for a long time and so he tempted me,” he said.

This prompted the magistrate to hit back: “So you are a man of the cloth but you decided to quench your thirst through anal sex with a 15-year-old boy?”

The disgraced pastor is not new to controversy involving sodomy with police investigating several other related allegations against him.

Mwembe, originally from Chief Pashu’s area in Binga, had visited Gomoza on the boundary of Binga and Lupane districts for a church service when he sodomised the schoolboy on October 12.

Prosecuting, Bheki Tshabalala told how Mwembe preyed on the boy after being offered a place to sleep by the teenager’s grandparents.

“Mwembe arrived in Sikhwehle Village at 4PM on October 12 to hold a church service in the village. At 8PM he went to sleep at the boy’s grandparents’ place.

“He slept on the bed while the boy and his 17-year-old brother slept on the floor,” said Tshabalala.

The court was told that Mwembe left the bed and sneaked into the boy’s blankets at night.

“The victim was half asleep when he felt somebody holding him by the waist with the manhood moving in and out in his anus,” said the prosecutor.

“The boy jumped as he checked but Mwembe also jumped and went back to his bed with his trousers at knee level.”

The court was told that the boy could not identify his assailant since it was dark in the bedroom hut.

In the morning he could not relieve himself as his anus was painful.

Two days later on October 14 at 2AM Mwembe once again sneaked from his blankets and pounced on the boy.

“He held him by the waist as he had sex with him until he ejaculated on the boy’s thighs. The victim woke up and lit a torch but the accused jumped and went back to his bed.

“At that moment the boy examined himself and noticed that there was semen on his thighs and blankets,” said Tshabalala.

He woke his elder brother up and they went to report to their grandparents.

A report was made to the police resulting in the pastor’s arrest.

The boy was referred to St Luke’s Hospital where he was treated.

Midlands State University (MSU) Catholic Society (CATHSOC) celebrated its 15th anniversary on 10th October 2015 under the theme “Looking at the past with gratitude, living the present with passion and embracing the future with hope”.

Current members of the Society were reunited with the pioneers who started the Catholic Students Society 15 years ago.

The homilist, Fr. Melusi, who is also the regional and institution’s chaplain thanked the associate members for the support they continue to give the family and also urged the current students to lure others to the Society and to keep it functional.

The Guest of Honour, Fr.Shirikadzi, was the main celebrant for the Mass. He encouraged the MSU CathSoc to stand out through exemplary conduct.

As part of celebrations, the Society held section choir competitions in which Nehosho section won the trophy. Also present at the occasion was the National Movement of Catholic Students (NMCS) national executive and Midlands region executive members.

WHAT can the State do when a sane adult is made to buy an orange fruit for $20 in the belief that they will receive some mythical blessing in return? What can the State do when an adult is made to buy a sticker and some bottled oil for a ridiculous amount in the belief that the sticker would protect them? What can the State do when a person who endured four agonising years in university allows the tearing down of their degree certificate because of religious belief?

Over the last few years, we beheld religious abuse of unmitigated proportions from sects that deny congregants basic rights; leaders who rape and sexually abuse women. We have even heard of homosexual abuse by supposed priests. The result has been that the State has been at a loss whether or not to interfere with religious affairs.

Even following my last instalment on the issue of child-marriages rampant in Marange, some, in response, contend that the State must move in to ban the sects as opposed to dithering for political expediency. Most people who wrote me believe political convenience explains why the practices in Marange have continued unrestrained for decades. There have been calls against some popular charismatic movements where people have been made to buy a common brick for $10 because “it has been anointed.”

Most people have even given away things of immense value like vehicles with promises of blessings and some of the matters have ended up in the courts. Just a few days ago, one prophet was roundly condemned for selling ‘anointed pens’ to students sitting for their final exams. The question that has featured prominently relates to whether or not to ban those practicing religious abuse.

Now, as much as sober considerations of some religious groups reveal outright abuse and manipulation, the point must be made that the call to ban is profoundly uncalled for. There is a fine line between religious acts and religious foolishness. State should not have any role in regulating people’s religious beliefs as we all know where this has led, especially in the Dark Ages.

It always turns out ugly when the State gets in the way of religion. It is a throwback to the Dark Ages. We have all seen Christians being butchered to death in the Middle East where the States enforce the preferred religion of Islam. A woman currently faces the hangman’s noose in Egypt for marrying a Christian. Where the State prefers a particular brand of religion over another the consequences have always been fatal.

Imagine if a government would be pro-atheism, what would happen to a plethora of religious groups. It is in this regard that we must not confuse religion with criminality. It is criminality which the State can and should deal with, not religious acts even if such acts be perceptibly foolish. The state should, by all means, move in with its full apparatus and apprehend perpetrators of criminal acts.

A case in point is the child-brides practice in Marange, which should be properly called sexual abuse of children. The acts in Marange are outright criminal. A twelve year old belongs in school and deserves protection Under the Children’s Protection Act. The apostolic sect is engaging in a criminal practice and the State is within its mandate to act.

Likewise, we have had cases of pervert prophets who indecently assault and even rape women congregants; these are classic criminal and not religious acts. Criminality should be treated separately from religion. There is little that can be done about ‘religious foolishness.’ Surely, what can be done about thousands of people who queue to buy a wrist band to ‘protect’ them when the prophet himself is actually protected by bodyguards? What can the State really do when a normal adult is made to buy a common brick for $20?

Can the State do much when one gives their entire servings to a prophet because they have been promised of a tenfold harvest? Evidently, this is religious foolishness which the State can do little about; there is no remedy for people who choose to be duped by pretentious con prophets and vultures that create cults. Surely, if an entire church believes that a pastor should first be intimate with the bridegroom as was practiced in one church whose leader is now jailed; can the State really move in?

There should be a fine distinction between religious acts and criminal acts. It remains unfortunate that some become willing victims in their abuse because they have not taken it upon themselves to study the Bible. Absurd as religious acts maybe; it is only an act of criminality that can be regulated not religious beliefs.

If a sect denies children their right to an education, then clearly there is a constitutional violation of children’s right to an education and the law can move in. This is detached from an adult who goes on to burn their drivers licence because of sect doctrine.

Indeed the State has no role in religious affairs and the only thing that Christians of goodwill can do is to keep on scripturally exposing the deception rife in the world today.

Remember this is the Last Hour.

Apostolic Faith Mission (AFM) in Zimbabwe president Aspher Madziyire and 27 other church leaders have been taken to the High Court by an elder who is seeking the nullification of Madziyire’s election as head of the church.

The church elder, Chitimire Brian Tenias, who issued summons against the church and its reverends, said he was a full member of the congregation and as such he was entitled to sue the church and pastors for the benefit of the proper administration of the church.

According to Tenias, Madziyire’s appointment or election into the office of the president of AFM was done in violation of the church’s constitution.

Madziyire, on January 31 this year, said the 27 reverends whom he cited as respondent’s allegedly convened a meeting not authorised by AFM’s constitution during which time they elected Madziyire as president.

“The aforesaid purported election of the 2nd defendant (Madziyire) as president of the 1st defendant (AFM) is unlawful, null and void as being contrary to the constitution of the 1st defendant,” Tenias said. The church elder also claims the pastors’ gathering that conducted the election ushering Madziyire into office was not AFM’s workers’ council as provided for in the church’s constitution.

“The 2nd to the 27th defendants (reverends) made their own rules and invited other unqualified delegates for the purported election contrary to the requirements of the 1st defendant’s constitution,” Tenias said.
“The plaintiff (Tenias) and other members of the 1st defendant’s workers’ council were not invited to the meeting yet in terms of the constitution of the 1st defendant, it is the workers’ council that constitutes the electoral college for the election of the president.”

The church elder also claims each of the 27 pastors were participating in activities that were contrary to AFM’s constitution and thus he was seeking an interdict barring them from acting outside the confines of the constitution.

“Each of them (pastors) being purportedly elected to a position in the apostolic council of the 1st defendant contrary to the requirements set out in the constitution of the 1st defendant,” the elder said.

He added: “Using rules and regulations that are not part of the constitution of the 1st defendant and claiming that those rules are part of the constitution when they are not.”

AFM, Madziyire and the 27 pastors have since entered an appearance to defend notice and the matter is still pending.

Prophetic Healing and Deliverance (PHD) Ministries leader Walter Magaya yesterday prayed for Higher and Tertiary Education minister Jonathan Moyo following the death of his daughter, Zanele, under mysterious circumstances in South Africa just over a week ago.

NewsDay is reliably informed the preacher visited Moyo’s home mid-morning and prayed for him, as his family seeks answers to what happened on the fateful day.

“It’s true the prophet visited Moyo’s home to pray for him this morning [yesterday],” a highly-placed official at the church said.

PHD officials said they were not at liberty to disclose who they prayed for.

Efforts to get a comment from Moyo and his family were fruitless last night, as his mobile phone went unanswered.

A grief-stricken Moyo on Friday said Zanele’s death would make him give his life to God.

“I find myself renewing my faith and making myself, presenting myself to the Lord because of the power of their messages, a message, which I have no doubt shall be part of me as long as I live,” he said.

A devastated Moyo told mourners that the death of his daughter had given him an opportunity to introspect and promised to turn to God.

Zanele, who was studying International Relations at the University of Cape Town, was found dead in her apartment in the South African city.

South African police say investigations into circumstances leading to her death were still ongoing.

Sunday 11^th of October 2015 was a wonderful day. The congregation at Holy Cross Budiriro parish celebrated and gave thanks to God for the gift of Br. Kenneth Temba.Br. Kenneth Temba had his final profession as a Redemptorist brother on 10^thOctober 2015 in Mabvuku and proceeded to have his first thanksgiving mass at his parish of Budiriro.

He was born in Gutu at Chatikobo village under Mutero Mission, moved to Kwekwe during his childhood age with his late parents and later on to Budiriro where he stayed with his aunt until adulthood.

He joined the congregation in 2006 and journeyed through the process in different countries, namely South Africa and Uganda.

Br. Kenneth attained an academic degree in Development Studies with Midlands State University. He intends to pursue doctorate studies as soon as he completes his Master’s degree.

Br Temba will have another Thanksgiving Mass at Chatikobo, his rural area on 17^th October 2015. Catholics from Mabvuku, Budiriro and other parishes will grace the event.

In his homily, Fr. Mupandasekwa who was the main celebrant gave an illustration of Br. Temba as someone who had everything but had no joy hence he chose to follow Jesus which was a direct reference of the gospel reading of the day, where a man who had everything asked Jesus what he was supposed to do to find joy but later refused to sell all his belongings.

In his thanksgiving remarks, Br Temba touched the hearts of many by giving salutation to his late father and mother. Many people were moved by the salutation. He also thanked his aunt and Budiriro community as a whole for their unconditional love and support from his tender age until now.

Holy Name Parish, Mabelreign recently witnessed the first group of Missionary Childhood children take their ‘vows’.

The guild was introduced by Fr. George Bwanali after he had preached on the need to mobilize Catholic kids and teach them to evangelize from an early phase.

In his homily, Br. Alexio Matsika from the Seminary, encouraged the children to be obedient to their parents, encouraging them to be good pioneers of the group so that others may feel the need to join.

The group comprised of approximately 80 children. They sang so well and led the Mass, impressing all congregants.

The National Movement of Catholic Students, Midlands Region joined the international family of IMCS Pax Romana in commemorating International Day of the Eradication of Child Poverty worldwide.

The day has been observed annually since 1987 and this year’s theme is “Together we can end Child Poverty”.

NMCS Midlands region president, Ms. Hope Marozva said her chapter of the NMCS is doing its best to eradicate child poverty by assisting children whenever they can.

“We visit children’s homes every now and then and we donate food, clothes and even offer financial assistance if we manage to raise some.

“At the moment, the Midlands State University Catholic Society is paying fees for a child at a Gweru primary school. If everyone else does the same, we can succeed in reducing child poverty,” said Ms. Marozva.

Itai Dzara trust board chairperson Bishop, Ancelimo Magaya, says they have adopted a new plan of praying for the safe return of the abducted journalist –cum civil rights activist Itai Dzamara where they will be holding series of prayer meetings in Africa Unity Square.

The new initiative according to the clergyman comes after the police had banned them from conducting national prayer meetings in Zvishavane recently for what the state said was because of political interference.

Prior to the interruption of the planned national prayers in Zvishavane they had successfully congregated and prayed in Harare and Chitungwiza and they were now heading for Mutare on the same mission.

Their first Africa Unity Square prayer was held in Africa Unity Square on Monday where Dzamara used to operate from before his forced disappearance.

In an interview with RelZim on the sidelines of the prayer meeting bishop Magaya said the spirit of pushing government to bring back Dzamara will never die.

“We had taken a short break and in preparation for bigger events in the near future and you know this needs a lot of preparedness,” bishop Magaya said.

“But today we are here at the venue where Itai used to operate from and it has a spiritual connection with him.”

“Let me say there is a spiritual connectivity with Itai by holding these prayer meetings here in Africa Unity Square, and also by conducting these meetings here it connects us with the cause he was fighting for and most importantly to send a clear message to his adductors that we are still alive, we are still leaving, we are alert and we have not yet run out of ideas,” said bishop Magaya.

Dzamara was abducted by state security agents on 9 March in his Glen View home area. Before he disappeared Dzamara was holding peaceful demonstrations where he was demanding for the immediate stepping down of President Robert Mugabe for failing to deliver his election campaign promises.

Bishop Magaya said at the mean time they will be congregating in Africa Unity Square where they will be praying for the return of Dzamara until such a time they are prepared to resume their aborted national prayer meetings.

“We are demonstrating the fact that we are alive and we are alive to the fact that eight months ago Itai Dzamara disappeared and his whereabouts remain unaccounted for and it is very saddening that this happened in a Zimbabwe whose government has failed to guarantee people security ,”said bishop Magaya.

Bishop Magaya added: “So what we are doing today is a beginning also and a continuation in another form and version of an ongoing public demonstration in prayer but also condemnation of such wanton , ruthless display of power of those that think that they control people’s lives”.

Their initial Monday Africa Unity Square payer was attended by Itai Dzamara’s wife Sheffra, his brother Partson and former Hurungwe West legislator Temba Mliswa.

THANKS to the laziness of our journalists and academics, we have up to now not been able to get to the bottom of this new African craze of what are oftentimes handsome, slick, pointed-shoe shod, shiny-suit clad prophets in Africa, with their stylishly groomed facial hair, their phalanx of bodyguards, and their expensive cars.

Brother Learnmore Zuze has often sounded the horn of warning, but his has often seemed like a lonely jeremiad in the desert: no follow up on his propositions from sociologists; no investigative journalism by reporters; and no serious curious search for theological insight resulting in edifying observation by real pastors and prophets as well as social commentators.

Often, the real point of the new African flamboyant prophets (NAFP)’s is lost in the observers’ supposition that these men are about money and fleecing people. Among the commentariat, supposed wisecracks often revel in telling us that this recently emerged bunch of NAFPs are “profits” and not “prophets”. But the purpose of these entrepreneurs is actually more sinister than that. Money is a secondary, even tertiary concern.

To understand the real purpose of the NAFP, follow their activities especially in the way they relate to their congregants. Follow and see so-called prophet Lesego holding out a bottle of petrol in front of his church, with bizarrely contorted congregants shaking uncontrollably before him, and competing to each get a sip of the petrol, and then, on his instruction, several of them dashing off en masse, in a seemingly choreographed and unnaturally uniformised zombi stampede, to go and eat leaves and to graze the grass outside the “church”.

Follow the NAFP’s exploits and see so-called prophet Penuel of Soshanguve stripping the clothes off his women congregants, in “church”, feeding them snakes and human hair, and having men lying prostrate and licking the NAFP’s pointed shoes. You have to look at the pictures on his Facebook page, to believe what you are hearing, but also to understand that something deeply worrisome is happening as the camera catches him high-up in the air about to descend as he gingerly trampolines upon a hapless, young, semi-naked woman.

The horrors go on. There is the shocking clip of the West African “prophet” continually and rhythmically pumping the pregnant stomach of a woman in front of the “church”, with his pointed shoe, in due course raising the tempo of the stepping ritual as if in a bizarre sexual act, and the woman kneeling in gratitude before him after the act. There is so-called prophet Mboro obeying the call of his name as he engages in weirdly sexualised rituals in “church”, purporting to be healing women who are lying supine, hypnotized before him.

There is the disturbing clip of the charlatan Lesego standing in his “pulpit”, directing pregnant women to have the babies in their wombs “dance for the lord”, and the pregnant women in the congregation responding by falling into a deep sleep and making apparently involuntary sexualised motions, until abruptly ordered to stop by their hypnotist through his microphone.

There is the rich Nigerian “prophet” slapping a woman hard on her cheek for not answering a question the way he wants it answered, in front of his congregation. There is Kanyari in Kenya bawdily touching a woman’s breast on the “pulpit”, and defying her pitiable search for modesty when she has turned her back to the congregation, by force-turning her back again to face the hall as he continues wantonly to fondle her.

Next door here, there is so-called prophet Angel in Zimbabwe standing congregants in a queue, and then administering a spiritual “two feet” on each of them and tripping them, sweeping them off their feet by kicking hard in the air and inducing a falling response as if he has actually kicked them physically. And then, unaccountably, packing his bags and leaving his congregation soon thereafter to base himself overseas. There is the swashbuckling Malawian Shepherd Bushiri, performing a bizarre levitation act, and being anything but a sherpherd to his flock.

Indeed the list goes on. Even the most basic search for google images of “African prophets” is enough to produce pictures that make one want to weep for the continent. But as long as our lazy commentators focus on the assumption that the new African prophetic craze, this NAFP phenomenon, is chiefly about money, they miss a major point. What the above is about is not people who have been coached to help a crook make money from a congregation. Nobody has been coached to come and accept to be fed a snake, or to be jumped upon.

It is about the reality that there is indeed some kind of spiritual power that these invariably young actors have acquired. That much is factually evident to any serious and intellectually honest observer. The question is what power that is. With the right angle of focus onto the picture, it is easy to see Satan’s concentrated efforts to invade the church space, and to seek to humiliate Christ through the instrumentalisation, denigration, cheapening, enslavement, and animalisation of the precious souls that Christ died for. That was Satan’s quest when he asked Jesus to kneel before him 2000 years ago. That is his revamped quest today in much of Africa.

If you understand that, a lot of things begin to make sense. You begin to understand the hierarchies of satanic spiritual representativeness in the phenomenon of spiritual fatherhood that powers this new prophetic movement: us the faithful kneeling or lying prostrate before papa; papa himself kneeling before his own papa when he comes to replenish the spiritual charge in his son; papa’s papa kneeling before his own papa; and papa’s great grandpa, in his turn, secretly worshipping before Nana Kwaku Bonsam and other wholesalers of this sordid spiritual trade, etc.

In this chain of representation, Satan’s spirit gets effective representation down the hierarchy. The long colourful untucked Mandela-like shirts become a cover over the waistline, in case there is unpredictable shifts by the symbolic serpent coiled around the NAFP’s waistline, the witching deceiver’s slithering familiar, linking its wearer into the Satanic spirit that induces the shaking, shivering, falling, worship, disorientation and frenzy of the faithful.

If not the long shirt, it must be a buttoned up, tailored, expensive suit, and the overall NAFP look is so thoroughly modern that if we are casual observers we cannot reconcile it with our idea of the backward and pre-computer age spiritism associated with the stories of old haggard women’s witchcraft that we grew up hearing.

And the Satanic chain of worship also becomes represented in spiritualized objects such as wristbands and oils, and other paraphernalia that take away the focus from Christ, to the presumed protective abilities of the prophet father.

So, by their covered waistlines ye shall know them. You shall know them by their waistlines not because they are fat from eating tithes and offerings. But because they are well-groomed, well-packaged, lookable waistlines, convincingly well-covered, richly attired, testimony to the great deception that Lucifer excelled in since he invented deceit and dissembling in the cosmos.

Money is a secondary issue, or even a non-issue, because this particular breed of prophets actually only need the little money that congregants pay in offerings for one purpose: to disguise what is really the most elementary feat for those in the trade: the unnatural acquisition of filthy lucre. The congregants’ offerings disguise the source of the stupendous amounts of money that the NAFP can, of course, easily acquire through unnatural means.

When everybody except the cameramen and hangers-on are falling as the “prophets” wave their hands in those vast spaces, that cannot be because everybody – including the innocent and ordinary person who has walked into the “church” for the first time, from the street – has been coached to act a part in a massive fraudulent spectacle to enrich the “prophet”. That’s a lazy explanation. It is a nonsensical idea; it is simply improbable.

What is actually happening here is that something indeed is happening, and that something is stemming from the Luciferian powers that the “prophet” acquired: his ability to operate an extra layer of spiritualism (that is, the invisible reality of spirits) and to deploy it on whom he will. It stands to reason that it he can do that, he also can have the obvious spiritual ability to pile up massive amounts of money in his home, thanks to the agency of those spirits.

That is how you then hear Angel saying he is worth 60 million dollars when he can’t tell you where he got the money, other than to vaguely say he is a major international businessman. Or another one recently saying he has an “investment vehicle” worth billions of dollars when you didn’t see the evolution of his capital base, nor any expertise that he at some point acquired in investment management.

The NAFP, as a breed of spiritual entrepreneurs, received a particular and sophisticated form of training. During the time they went to be apprenticed in the trade, in addition to the core tricks of deploying their spiritual shadows, they were taught about dissembling, grooming, and managing public relations in such a way that their personal origins as “men of God” are seldom traceable.

When asked who they are and where they grew up, invariably they will respond by saying it’s not about them, it’s about Jesus. That way, they don’t become the boy next door that I grew up playing brother and sister with, and that today has found God in a manner that should inspire me: no, they become unearthly.  They are trained to reel out in a self-serving and distorted way the scriptures that justify or conceal their games: Jesus said you shall do more than I am doing, you shall move mountains; the earth and all the riches in it belong to God, and so on. And they are trained in selling hope.

They are ambitious and daring. They tend to name their churches in a way that has an “international” dimension. They might slot in the word “spirit” somewhere, without saying what the spirit in question is. There is nothing fundamentally untruthful therefore when Angel says his church is Spirit Embassy, only that it depends what spirit we are talking about.

And, once set up and in operation, they know how to make the constant empty references to the name of Jesus for deception purposes, not invoking it as the power and life that it is, but practicing before their mirrors a manner of deracinating the name of Jesus and calling it without the meaning of it, but as a play word uttered at the same time as they humiliate and mock Christ’s creation and the faith that He founded 2000 years ago.

Needless to say not everybody who uses the appellation of “prophet” in Africa is false. Ultimately, it is God only who knows the hearts of each one of us, and who can and will in His time separate the wheat from the chaff. But we are at a strange spiritual moment in Africa, and it is important for those who love God in Africa to seek divine inspiration and discernment to understand who is who, and what is what, and to help hapless pilgrims who are genuinely seeking God from being abused, misled, and to push back against the blatant misrepresentation that we are currently seeing of God’s beautiful and holy character.

One of the Archdiocese of Harare’s youngest and finest priests, Fr. Kuli Jacob Tapera Chimenga (33) died in a horrific car crash on Tuesday the 3^rd of November 2015 on his way to Murambinda, his mission station.

Fr. Kuli was ordained as priest on 1^st August this year, meaning he died only 3 months and 3 days after serving in the Lord’s vineyard as a priest. Parishioners will remember him for his heart-throbbing sermons and great sense of humor and also his good conduct in helping youth groups, having been a member of Agnes and Alois Guild.

A Vigil Mass was held on Thursday 5^th November at New Highfield Church at 6:00pm whilst the Requiem Mass was held at the same Church on Friday 6^th November at 09:00am, followed by burial at Chishawasha Mission.

Apostolic sect churches have objected plans by Harare City Council to control open spaces where they worship in the city’s proposed 2015 by-laws.

The apostolic sect churches are breathing fire and questioning why they were being targeted for “harassment”, while night clubs were being left out.

Twenty-two objections were made by the groups, including Johane Masowe Chishanu, Central Apostolic Church, Ebenezer Holy Church and the Council of Apostolic Churches of Zimbabwe, among others.

Part of the objections raised by the apostolic sects was a question on why they were being targeted for “harassment” by council over noise pollution yet nothing was being done to night clubs and beer outlets.

They also argued the proposed by-laws would infringe on their freedom of worship, given the time restrictions.

According to council’s environmental management committee, the objections were similar from all the said churches.

“Among the objections were the lack of stakeholder consultation and that it was not fair to single out churches, yet night clubs, bars and others contributed to noise pollution,” the minutes read.

“The restriction of time (10am to 6pm) infringed upon the freedom of assembly.”

Council, however, resolved to consider the objections and the proposed by-laws.

The city said it was vital that the by-laws should state clearly that temporary toilets are clearly defined as a “portable toilet or a water-borne system toilet connected to a septic tank” so that churches do not construct blair toilets at their places of worship.

On the issue that council was only targeting apostolic churches on the by-law, the committee said they were in the process of enacting noise by-laws which would regulate noise decibels in other gatherings like public meetings, weddings and road shows, among others.

ZIMBABWE has been hit by a storm of alleged prophets or men of god who have been fighting for the prophetic turf in trying to pull crowds and out-manoeuvre each other in the hope of being crowned “Leader of the biggest church” or gathering in the country.

The urge to be called the biggest prophet in Zimbabwe, the region or even Africa has pushed some of these so-called prophets to use unorthodox methods and make ludicrous claims about their capabilities to heal and the number of crowds that they are allegedly pulling to each and every gathering.

It is because of the obsession with huge gatherings that I wish toDEBUNK the myth behind the numbers that are allegedly being pulled by one Walter Magaya of PHD Ministries in Harare’s Waterfalls suburb.

Walter Magaya is being claimed by most newspapers in Zimbabwe to be attracting crowds of up to 200,000 in a single gathering during his weekly services and, curiously, 600,000 for the recently held Night Of TurnAround 4.

I must hasten to state that all these publications are doing so without even a shred of evidence as to the source of their figures; even Magaya himself is reported to have said “We were expecting 1 million people but in the end we are happy that over 600,000 managed to attend on the night”.

No publication has ever challenged him on the source of his claimed figures, giving credence to the allegation that Magaya actually pays these publications to report his claims as is, without any probing questions.

I have therefore taken it upon myself to clear the air and give the masses of Zimbabwe the figures as they are and let you decide whether or not to believe what you hear from Magaya and PHD Ministries.

Checking online to find out how many people could safely stand or sit in any particular venue, I came across an article on http://www.ehow.com/how_8066810_figure-out-capacity-events.html which gave me the figures I was looking for. The article recommends that for standing capacity a person should occupy 10sq ft (0.929sq m) and for a sitting audience each person should occupy 13.5sq ft (1.254sq m).

The article also calculates what is called the unusable space, in Magaya’s case this would be the podium or platform, the rows in-between the chairs, the toilet areas and the healing space or” acting area”, but for purposes of making it easy to work out estimate attendance figures, I will ignore all these and pretend that every space will be covered with chairs for people to sit. I also went on Google maps to find out just how big Magaya’s PHD complex is, I found out that if I was to be generous and give PHD extra land up to the banks of Mkuvisi River, to cater for what they call the overflow we could only come to a total of 27 805sq m (299 291sq ft).

The white line indicates the boundaries I have generously given to PHD Ministries. Ehow.com clearly states that 76 people sitting safely occupy 92.9sq m which means if Magaya was going to cater for over 600,000 people he would need up to 800 000sq m, that’s up to 25 times the size of his current place.

A quick calculation using the figures above would show that a maximum of 30,000 standing or 22,000 sitting people would unsafely squeeze into the complex with no space to walk; a far cry from the over 100,000 touted figure of attendees on a single ordinary Sunday.

However, one Magaya loyalist in a forum, commented that the over 600,000 crowd spilled over the Mkuvisi River up to Mangwende Drive and that they had hired chairs from as far as South Africa to cater for what they called the biggest ever church gathering in Zimbabwe.

Giving PHD Ministries the land up to Mangwende Drive gave us a total of 275,155sq m or 10 times the original size of their complex. And again a quick calculation, assuming that people were sitting on the banks of, and in the smelly river, would still give us 296,000 standing or 220,000 in chairs.

As can be seen from the above calculations, it is simply clear it would not be easy for over 200,000 people to safely sit for any of Magaya’s gathering and be able to move freely. I must hasten to say that if 600,000 people were to fit in the above piece of land each person would occupy an area the size of a 2litre bottle of Coke.

I stated earlier that these figures do not cater for unusable space and if we were to factor those spaces in, then the figures attending PHD at any given time would be greatly reduced.

I assume that the picture above is the normal sitting order at PHD which would greatly reduce their claimed figures.

The National Sports Stadium’s sitting area (roughly 36,000sq m), is way bigger than Magaya’s PHD and if we were to fill it to capacity including the turf area, we would hardly get beyond 100,000 people.

Considering the transport system and state of roads in Harare, it would not be feasible, or logistically possible, to transport over half million people to a single venue in a single day. There is simply no such capacity in Harare or anywhere in Africa; in fact even London, New York or even Tokyo would struggle to move so many people to a single venue. And to imagine that this task was carried out by our loyal COMBIs in Harare is incredible.

Assuming that 500 combis (which was not the case) were dedicated to ferrying people to PHD from the city centre, with each overloading with 20 people per trip and also assuming 400,000 people used the combis; each combi would need to do 40 trips to, and all attempting to make a U-Turn in front of PHD along Simon Mazorodze. Can you imagine the chaos of 500 combis on a single route in Harare?

What is more incredible and unbelievable is that our local media has peddled these imaginary figures from PHD Ministries without so much as a blink of the eye. They have cushioned this lie for so long such that Magaya has come to believe in his own lies as well and even crowned himself the most influential person under the age of 40.

Why is Magaya so obsessed with huge figures of people attending his church you would ask? Well the guy things that being surrounded by multitudes of people is a sign that he is doing great works of god and that it is testament that he is the best at what he does. But the crown in the jewel for bumper crowds is in the resultant offerings thereof, the cash to be got is the driving force behind the push for more people every time.

It is all psychological in the sense that when one hears that half a million people will be gathered to receive their blessing, one would feel left behind and is likely to just tag along in the hope of getting anointing. Once you are there, you are likely to spend your money on something, DVD, bracelet, booklet, an offering and tithe or planting your imaginary seed, whatever it is, spend you will.

So in conclusion, without delving too much into Magaya’s antics and reasons behind his love for big numbers, it is not logistically and practically possible to safely and comfortably allow more than 30 000 people into the PHD complex and beyond in a single sitting, let alone 600 000. To do so would be the 8th wonder of this world, and I hope I have finally put to rest any ludicrous and outrageous claims by Magaya and his hangers-on, that they are using God’s power to pull never seen crowds in Africa and the world over.

AMONG the 117 emails I received after the publication of my article, By Their Waistlines Ye Shall Know Them, there was one particularly thoughtful one that raised an important problem.

If I were to put into my own words the emailer’s line of inquiry, the issue that he raised was this: Does the New African Flamboyant Prophet (NAFP) possess some kind of spiritual power, making the relevant question only one of what the source of such power is, or is he a non-spiritual operator faking his ‘miracles’ by clever, non-mystical means, that is, operating as a stuntman and confidence trickster? Or do we have a mix of things going on here, a belt-and-suspenders strategy of sorts whereby the NAFP mixes sorcery with contrivances of practical deception here and there – somewhat like a superstitious secondary school soccer team that will lead their ritual goat onto the playing field and have it urinate on the opponents’ goal line, while also having been in camp as a team, training very hard?

So, for example, can Shepherd Bushiri actually levitate, or did some hidden bouncers lift him by the armpits as he descended the last rungs of the staircase in his Gauteng mansion, at the moment when the camera moved to only focus on his elegantly-shod feet?

To begin with, it is obvious that the NAFP is a varied phenomenon. That the NAFPs are not meaningfully understood in their complex variety is exactly why last week I expressed disappointment with the poor quality of journalistic and sociological inquiry into this important contemporary African development. And that is why I decried the poverty of theological reflection on the part of genuine pastors and prophets, who should be edifying the Christian pilgrims of this continent in their search for truth.

And, needless to say if your NAFP is indeed a real disciple of Christ who is helping advance the frontiers of the kingdom of our loving God, if the last time you saw your NAFP you looked at his waistline and didn’t have a problem with what you saw, then you need not be bothered. You need not threaten me with boils and pestilence: I do not believe that every person who uses the appellation ‘prophet’ is false.

Nor, conversely, am I saying every prophet I have not discussed in detail is genuine. My articles just cite some blatant illustrative examples. They also do not question the existence of some genuine men of God. If however, by the counsel of the Holy Spirit you have begun to ask questions and have some lingering doubts about your NAFP, then, as we go into the next paragraphs, put on your seat belt, or, if you are a NAFP yourself or particularly close to one, your belt and suspenders.

NAFPs are a complex phenomenon, and they come in different leagues. Penuel Mnguni’s congregants gather at a working class house in Soshanguve, and it is obvious from his low-tech infrastructure that he is not in the premier league financially. On the other hand, at the height of his swagger, Zimbabwe’s Uebert Angel could arrive at a service in a helicopter. And Oyedepo in Nigeria, after slapping the woman kneeling before him, can go on a holiday overseas in his private jet. There are many varieties in between.

Therefore, in terms of needing it at any given time, clearly money matters in ways that are different from one NAFP to the next. In terms of how NAFPs get money, let us consider two cases that suggest two levels at which money is sought.

The Jicho Pevu investigative work on “Pastor” Kanyari in Kenya exposed some practical, non-spiritual deceptions: accomplices being coached to dramatise their deceit; lieutenants being bought with shillings to come into an inner circle; actors being made of some vulnerable members of the flock. This is one level of operation by a given NAFP in his pursuit of riches. It is a practical conman’s entrepreneurship, nothing spiritual there.

For a second one, I go to my notebook and the notes I made during a service of Uebert Angel’s that I attended here in South Africa. I wrote then:

“His topic today is “miracle money”. We are a mixed congregation, roughly half black, half white. Angel is wearing designer jeans, and a pick shirt. He speaks about a day when he had “minus 2″ pound sterling in his bank account in the UK, and no food in the house. Citing some verses, he says he went to an ATM machine and commanded it to give him money, and the machine suddenly registered 2000 pounds in his account. As he speaks now, he says, he has a lot of money. He doesn’t wear a shirt that costs less than 1000 pounds. He recently auctioned one of his shirts, he says, and a follower bid ten thousand US dollars for it…/…At this point he is talking about his luxurious cars, and mesmerizing the audience with details of their high-power car technology…”

Against this background, Uebert Angel has claimed that he is worth at least sixty million dollars. Let us take him at his word, in the sermon that I have reported on. The logic is simple here. Uebert Angel is saying that he has the power to have money unnaturally multiply for him. Either he is lying, which is alarming, or he is telling the truth, which is telling.

If we suppose that he is telling the truth, what then is the source of this power, and how do we reconcile it with the more garden variety crook story of Angel allegedly conning the keys of a Bentley out of the hands of one of his flock? For a powerful Angel, having the multitudes shivering and falling and kneeling before him, what happens when we then see him almost worshipful as he kneels before Victor Boateng at the airport, as the latter arrives in his designer jeans, ray ban glasses, and large James Bond belt? Given that Boateng himself has not built up anything of note in Ghana or elsewhere, in terms of size of congregation or wealth, what is happening here?

And how is Angel a minus 2 pounds man on day one, a 2000 pounds man two hours later, a 60 million dollar man three years later, and an alleged fugitive from justice for a common survivor’s con a couple of years later? What explains these vicissitudes? And what explains the anxiety, the palpable fear of the spiritual fathers, in money terms? What explains the belt-and-suspenders strategies we have seen in Kanyari and Angel and others in the pursuit of wealth, and the leapfrog economics that we see in the lives of some of the NAFPs?

The issue is, if these powers are Luciferian, then NAFPs’ lifestyles are precarious in the extreme. Their ultimate master is not faithful. Satan being the scumbag that he is, is a cheat, a fraud, and a conjurer. And he is an exacting master. So, at any point in time, an NAFP has no guarantee that the touch is still there. He really cannot be certain that shadowy input will always produce expected output. This is why the fame of the NAFP, and often their riches, are ephemeral, a nine-day wonder, and there is always among these personalities a built-in competitiveness, and you suddenly see a new prophet, a new sensation in town from time to time: as in, a new prophet has come into town with more mesmerising soccer results predictions and signs and wonders these days.

This precariousness also accounts for the NAFPs’ perpetual anxiety and restlessness, including their nauseating grovelling in the presence of their spiritual fathers. There is that moment when Boateng is in Harare, and either a miracle or a “miracle” has been performed, and Boateng as spiritual father is sitting smiling, beaming his approval, colourful shirt untucked in, be-jeaned legs astride, one leg draped over the armrest of his VIP chair. If a picture is worth a thousand words, and as you look at that picture you see reverence in the house of God, and an attribution of the power that has been displayed to our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, look again.

So, again, we cannot know the hearts of men; only God can, for the Holy Spirit searches the depths of all things. But we have a God-given responsibility to open our eyes, to study, and to think. And to seek the discernment that comes of the Holy Spirit. As we have just seen in Paris, there are many confused haters that are visiting violence and death upon innocent people in the name of God, clearly on account of an unthinking adherence to the teachings of self-serving and corrupt religious leaders.

God therefore cares about our diligence and thoughtfulness in things that concern his kingdom. That is why in the account of how the gospel was being received among the people of Berea as contrasted with those of Thessalonica, the medical doctor Luke quotes with approval the studious habits of the people of Berea, who after interacting with the Apostle Paul would retire to their libraries to see how history, philology, and other sources of knowledge correlated with the wonderful news of Jesus Christ that they had heard. That way they became informed Christians.

As informed Christians, we would refuse to be stripped naked in church, or fed snakes or be jumped upon or slapped in church. As informed Christians, especially us women, we would refuse to be sexually assaulted by these NAFPs, refusing all these vile acts ranging from having our breasts fondled by “men of God”, spreading our garments for the philandering feet of so-called Dr Masotsha to walk over, having our pregnancies pumped under the soles of the feet of misogynistic NAFPs in West Africa, to congregating around Gumbura to be defiled and abused in demonic and unnatural sexual encounters so spiritualised that, as one co-wife reported of another in those disgusting Gumbura-gate leaks, she left his bedroom disoriented, clothes worn the wrong way, all the way from Harare to Kwekwe.

The basic reality is that, that desperado Lucifer is at work. As a spirit that fell with one third of the host of angels in his rebellion, he is capable of unnatural operations, whose effects are observable and verifiable. Since by Scriptural insight we know that angels have higher informational and kinetic potential than human beings, stuff does happen. It is therefore important for Christians be on their guard. In seeking communion with God, and fellowship with others who love him, in being part of the body of Christ, let us remember that Jesus admonished that we keep our diligence and common sense, being as unassuming as doves but alert as serpents.

In the case of our journalists, theologians, sociologists, and others, you should use your intellectual talents and academic training to help protect God’s children from charlatans. Make a contribution. Specifically on this matter of NAFPs, what is needed is dedicated investigation into basic things surrounding this phenomenon which has taken the continent by storm. High level dimensions of inquiry (which in turn could each be broken down) might include:

– A systematic examination of the biographies of NAFPs: who were they before they bounced on stage in flashy suits; and what’s their own narrative about themselves before they became prophets?

– What are their individual pathways to wealth? Invariably they will respond to a reporter or interviewer by saying they are big businessmen. Nobody has systematically followed up with basic questions about the specificity of their business enterprises. 

– Who else in their churches has access to the books? Do those other people’s mathematics about what goes in and out of the church coffers add up, and how does it square with the mathematics given by the NAFP?

– What precisely does the NAFP’s spiritual father (SP) provide the NAFP? Where did they meet? How did the NAFP identify the SP? What is the SP himself’s own profile and credentials? Who is he? 

– Where did the NAFP train as a theologian? When they visited Ghana or Nigeria, or whatever other pilgrimage they made before embarking in their ministry, what drew them to that country? Did they get any further training, if so, in what? Where did they stay when they visited that country? Who facilitated the meetings? How long did they stay there? 

– Regarding the wrist-bands, oil, and other artefacts that they use in their church, what’s the business model? Are they given for free or are they sold?

Ultimately, it is painful when the mighty name of God is misrepresented by the shenanigans of some of these New African Flamboyant Prophets. Or when innocent Christian seekers are abused in the most grotesque of ways, as we have been witnessing. Or when things of God are presented as if they were foolish, or for foolish people.

For we know that God, three in one with our Saviour Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, is the most amazing intelligence there is, as many cutting edge thinkers – from St Thomas Aquinas to Martin Luther, from Augustine of Hippo to the physicist Isaac Newton – came to realise each in his own epoch.

As David – head of a nation that was consistently literate and literary over centuries, the Jewish nation, “people of the book”, and himself as their philosopher king obviously being a man who had access to the best libraries and counsellors in the Kingdom – noted in the dimensions of God’s divine intelligence that he acknowledged in that eloquent Psalm, Psalm 19, and as his son Solomon – reputed for his knowledge – discovered and bequeathed to us in his insight that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom (my emphasis), God’s intelligence is of such magnitude and direction that, were he to ask us along with Job where we were when he laid the foundations of the universe, and upon what scaffolding they rest, we would have no words.

Let not a snake-wielding Soshanguve crook distort such a beautiful and Holy name in the eyes of those that seek God’s face.